


The little things

by Krzeslicko



Category: Wooden Overcoats
Genre: Confusion, Gen, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Spoilers, no one knows what's happening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-21 00:29:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14905077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krzeslicko/pseuds/Krzeslicko
Summary: Set after the end of season three.Eric and Rudyard get along just fine, even with the frequent outbursts on the latter's part. Neither of them, however, know how to repair their newly formed friendship and the fact that everyone seems to think they are more than friends does not help.(or formerly: five times others misunderstood Rudyard and one time Rudyard misunderstood others)





	1. The meddling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kivutio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kivutio/gifts).



> Side note: I'm not fluent in English, so please bear that in mind while reading this fanfiction.
> 
> Anyways, as I promised wonderful kivutio, I have another piece from Wooden Overcoats for you! Enjoy.

Chapter one: The meddling 

 

1\. Eric Chapman 

It has been a rough couple of days both for Rudyard and Eric. It wasn’t anything specific that triggered their mutual hostility, but taking their characters under consideration it was a miracle that the big explosion of cumulated feelings didn’t happen earlier. 

Nevertheless, there they were. At each other’s throats for some petty thing that was swiftly forgotten a long time ago. The only one shouting was Rudyard, as always; Eric merely listened, although his body language said more about his internal thoughts than he would have expected. Was it important, the thing that triggered them in the first place? Neither of them remembered. 

“Go to hell, Chapman! It’s all YOUR fault, that’s certain!” 

At the words Eric finally snapped. “How is that MY fault by any means, Rudyard? Don’t you think a little bit of self-reflection would be advisable at this point?” His words were bitter, it was clear that he was furious, even if he knew better than letting his anger overtake him. “How typical of you.” 

“Self-ref- God damn it, Chapman!” 

“Because you just never THINK before you speak! Why do you think nobody was keen on doing business with you in the first place?!” 

“I-“ Funn looked lost for a moment but quickly regained his composure. “That is clearly YOUR fault, Chapman!” 

“How is that- You know what? Fine.” 

Chapman pinched the bridge of his nose in an universal sign of irritation and stayed silent for a minute to let his nerves calm. Rudyard brought everything bad in his character, it seemed clear now. 

“I need fresh air” the businessman hissed under his breath and then he was gone from Rudyard’s sight. 

The silence was almost overwhelming, even for an insensitive person that Rudyard Funn certainly was. Despite being the man he was, Rudyard knew deep inside of him that he was wrong. Under normal circumstances he wouldn’t be even conscious of that fact, but being friends with Eric Chapman did that to you in the end. 

Friends. 

“What have I done?” 

~~~~ 

The next day greeted Eric with an intoxicating mix of regret, anger and self-loathing. Not for the first time since he began to form a relationship with Rudyard Funn, but also not the first time in his adult life. It was bad, before all of that. 

Chapman wondered about his past while he prepared to get out of bed. He intuitively knew that he still had about two hours before his alarm would rang. He was also aware, however, that based on his previous experiences, he would not be able to come back to sleep anymore. 

With a sigh on his lips Eric pulled his torso up and finally looked at the clock placed on his bedside cabinet, right next to the pocket watch belonging to his grand-grand-grand… father. 

Three forty. Not that bad. 

“Right. What should I-“ 

A bang on the door was a rather unexpected turn of events. And considering the time – Eric glanced at the clock one more time, just to be sure, still not nearly four o’clock – it could only be one person. Well, theoretically one could find more, or even say that a funeral home should be open at all times, but- let’s settle on one person, shall we? 

“Coming!” 

Pulling off the covers was not a pleasant task, even if it was necessary. After doing that Chapman realised he was suddenly really cold all other and remembered that he drunkenly took off all of his clothes. Drunkenly? It would seem so, although there was no headache forming in his temple and there were no bottles lying around. How else to explain the hazy state Eric was in when he came back home from Funn’s house? This sudden burst of emotions, not being able to stand or think straight… 

But first, he should deal with the banging that didn't cease even for a moment. Now, THAT was going to give him a headache later, for sure. 

In a blink of an eye Eric put some clothes on, not paying attention to how they looked or, well, smelled and suddenly his hand was on the door-knob, anxious. 

Should he open the door? No, of course he should do that, stupid question. Does he want to open this door? Face whoever was there on the other side? 

“I’m here!” 

He has made the decision. 

“Rudyard” he greeted his guest with cold politeness so alien to him at this point. 

Miraculously, it worked and the other man looked a bit stirred by the withdrawn stare his host gave him. They both glared at each other for a while, thinking through their plans of action. At least Rudyard seemed to do that, because Eric had no bloody clue what he was going to do. He still felt anger towards his… friend? Ex-friend? Doesn’t matter. He was yet to forgive Rudyard Funn’s hurtful accusations but at the same time he was ready to hear whatever the small man, who was currently avoiding his eyes, had to say about his behaviour. 

“Chapman, I-“ 

“Rudyard-“ 

Finally, they looked each other in the eyes and allowed their lips to curl slightly upwards. Funn broke the eye contact, licking his lips and biting them almost to the point of bleeding. Eric took a deep breath. He already made his decision when he opened this door a few minutes ago. He moved away a hair, just enough to make a tight passage. 

“Come in, Rudyard.” 

“Maybe I will, Chapman” Eric’s guest moved forward, almost cocky in manner. He didn’t fool anybody, though. Dark circles under his eyes spoke louder to anyone who looked carefully, which Eric certainly was doing. 

That was enough to Eric. Even if Rudyard didn’t come to his house to apologise, the mere fact that Chapman has made him lose his precious sleep was sufficient. The implications of that thought were to be left for later, though. 

Eric led his guest to the kitchen, both to make him more uncomfortable as he was sure Rudyard still remembered yesterday’s events and for purely practical reason. It was nearly four o’clock at this point and Chapman did not plan to have this conversation half-asleep. 

“Coffee?” Eric asked, turning his back to his guest in order to retrieve his favourite cup from the cupboard above the sink. 

“Yes, plea-“ 

“Help yourself.” 

It was hard to held a smile when the look of surprise transformed into irritation and then sudden realisation in a matter of seconds. 

“Right.” 

When they were seated, both of them remained silent, waiting for the hot liquid to chill. Rudyard was the first one to speak. 

“A- Antigone persuaded me to come here, to you.” 

“She wanted you to come here at four o’clock, wake me up from my beauty sleep and entertain me with silence for twenty minutes?” Eric had a hard time believing it would ever be the case. Antigone, despite being raised in the basement, had more self-perseverance than her twin. Still, it was amusing to look at his friend’s face when he was trying to come up with the right answer. 

“She- Well, not exactly, but-“ 

“Don’t worry, I know what you mean. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear it from you, personally.” 

Rudyard Funn took a deep breath. Then another. In the meantime Eric reached for his cup and tasted the coffee. Too hot, still- 

“She said I am to make out with you and after I thought the matter through, I decided to come right away.” 

Burning liquid spilled all over the table, staining the white tablecloth with brownish spots. 

“I’m sorry, she what?” 

Rudyard rolled his eyes, carefully ignoring the stains his host left before him. “She said I hurt you and-“ he renewed the eye contact “And I agree. I shouldn’t have- Shouldn’t have accused you of anything, as it was clearly not your fault.” It was visible that he struggles with this statement, like it was the first time he opened himself to someone. “I was- I am too hasty at times. And for that, Cha- Eric. For that I am sorry.” 

During his speech, Rudyard maintained the eye contact, despite the visible struggle. Now he let his eyelids shut and tense shoulders relax a hair. 

None of them said anything after that. 

Eric got up from his chair, walked up to his friend and placed a warm hand on his skinny arm. He let his fingers play with a cloth of Funn’s yesterday’s shirt while he spoke. 

“Rudyard, I am- I am still angry with you.” That brought even more tension into Rudyard’s shoulders. “I do, however, understand where you are coming from and, frankly, I am willing to forgive you.” 

“Chap-“ 

Eric moved a finger over his friend’s lips, not quite touching them. 

“Let me finish.” He let his hand drop. “If you need my help dealing with things, I will help you. But you have to talk to me, not just snap at me like you did yesterday, okay?” 

Rudyard slowly looked up to meet Eric’s gaze and nodded shyly. 

“Thank you.” His smile was genuine, even if he needed to work on not looking like a psychopath when he did that. The atmosphere cleared, though and Eric was content he no longer felt an unpleasant twist in his stomach. He poured himself and Rudyard another cup of coffee sat on the chair next to his friend with a usual friendly smile. 

“Now, what EXACTLY did Antigone told you to do?” 

 

2\. Agatha Doyle 

The bakery smelled of freshly made pastries and cocoa. It wasn’t unpleasant per se, but Rudyard would not pick this scent as his favourite, either. Why has he found his way up here, buying Antigone’s chocolates, he wondered, if it wasn’t for his own pleasure? 

“Here you are, Mr Funn” said Agatha Doyle, sliding the box of homemade chocolates his way. She didn’t ask why he chose those alongside his usual ones, and he didn’t feel the need to spill the beans. 

“Thank you, Agatha” He was just turning to the exit, but then remembered his talk with Eric a few days prior and added without his usual grumpy tone. “Enjoy yourself.” 

Agatha gasped under her breath and looked up at him in a swift motion. Her mouth agape, she grabbed Rudyard’s free hand by the wrist and forced him to lean on the counter. 

“Suspicious…” she murmured at last, grip still strong enough to bruise the delicate skin under her client’s shirt. 

“What do you find ‘suspicious’, Agatha?” 

She didn’t answer. Instead, she began to examine his face closely. When she didn’t find what she was looking for, she glanced at the pastries laying safely in the bag. “So. You and Eric?” 

"What about us?" Rudyard quirked an eyebrow and only partially stopped himself from rolling his eyes in irritation. 

"Are you friends?" 

That was a stupid question and Agatha knew it all too well. Funn sighed and tried to free his hand, but the woman was bloody strong. Looked like there was no way around it. 

"Yes, Agatha. We are 'friends'. Now, can I go?" He put emphasis on the word 'friends' in hopes of getting away with sarcasm. However Agatha didn't seem to quite understand the meaning behind his words because she blushed heavily and huffed with anger. Didn't let go of his hand, though. 

"And have you always been... friends?" 

"Yes- Well, actually, no. At first we were... something else. Now it's all different, though." Rudyard's hand began to itch where Agatha got her hold of him. 

"You were something else, you say? But now it's different?" 

"Yes, Agatha, our relationship is a lot better, if I were to speak truthfully. Can I go, now?" Having found his patience only recently, Rudyard Funn didn't quite know how to manage it. But taking the history of his previous outbursts under account, this one was the size of a new born kid's shoe. At least he didn't throw a tantrum in the middle of the street. "I have some really important- meeting and I wouldn't want to be late. Let me go, Agatha!" 

Finally, she freed his hand. But not before she had the last word. 

"One may claim your behaviour to be suspicious, Rudyard." 

He should have bit his lip and go away. But Rudyard is Rudyard, even if his smile was a bit less horrible. 

"Bloody hell, Agatha, there is nothing suspicious about the two of us!" He raised his voice, the bag with pastries laying forgotten on the floor. "What's your deal!" 

"Dear God, Rudyard, you don't have to be so unpleasant. I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this." 

"The bottom of what, exactly?" Rudyard was breathing unevenly; his voice rising with every syllable. Through his haze he understood two things, however. His rage was justified, for once. He knew for a fact that Agatha had no right to keep him in the shop. Still, he didn't back down from the confrontation. 

"Your re-" 

"Good day, Agatha!" 

Eric Chapman. Rudyard was for once grateful for his ability to appear whenever he was a topic of someone's conversation. Funn picked up his sweets and turned to his neighbour, who was eyeing him cautiously. 

"Is something wrong?" A worry in his voice sounded sincere. Like he deeply cared for Rudyard's well-being. Then he noticed the bag and his eyes lit up. "I see you got the treats! Wonderful! I was just about to get us some for the dinner. Well, then. Enjoy yourself, Agatha!" 

Eric touched Rudyard's back briefly, before turning away from Agatha and heading out to the street with him. There was certain intimacy in the gesture and the retired detective felt like she was interrupting something bigger. She observed as Rudyard - it almost looked like he - leaned to the touch, which no one has ever seen him do. Must've been her mind playing tricks on her. After all, her eyes are not what they were twenty years ago. 

The pair made their way down the street, silent but exchanging knowing looks. Eric's full of joy, while Rudyard's were a mix of irritation, gratitude and... confusion? 

"Very suspicious" Agatha murmured to herself and reached for the 'open/closed' sign. She was going to visit some friends. 

 

3\. Georgie Crusoe 

Rudyard was humming. But not only that. The was HUMMING and SMILING. Both of those things alone were so bizarre that Georgie had a difficult time understanding WHY they happened to occur at the same time so early in the morning. 

She cleared her throat. 

"Hey, Mr Funn?" she began while chopping onions for the late breakfast. They usually prepared it together, since Rudyard was a terrible cook and Antigone often stayed late working on her latest invention. 

"Yes, Georgie?" He really seemed less agitated than usual. Normally he would snap at her immediately, but now there were no signs of even the slightest irritation. Weird. 

"If you don't mind me asking-" Georgie placed all of her ingredients on the plate and began to make coffee in the pot. "You look... relaxed. Did you sleep well?" 

Rudyard grinned under his nose and quickly turned, so that his expression wasn't visible for his employee. 

"Oh, quite the contrary, I'm afraid." He picked up three cups and placed them on the table. The only thing left now was the coffee pot. "I stayed late at Chapman's, so we didn't get much sleep last night." 

Georgie thanked God Rudyard wasn't facing her, as for the moment everything on her face stopped to portray the pure horror she was feeling. She soon composed herself again and hid her expression under her usual disinterest. Only after briefly glancing at Mr Funn did she realise that something was wrong. Rudyard Funn was staring at her with concern in his eyes. For God's sake, Rudyard Funn was worried about her! Why? 

"Georgie?" 

"Yes, Mr Funn?" 

"You dropped the knife." 

Oh. That was most certainly true. She must've pushed it off the table while setting the pot in the correct position. She didn't hear the sound of it hitting the ground, though... 

"It hasn't done you any harm, you know." Mr Funn reached for the utensil and washed it quickly in the ancient sink. "No reason to treat it with such hostility." 

Was it a joke? From Mr Funn? She HAD to know. 

"Sorry." Both of them sat in their usual chairs and waited for the Antigone to come up for breakfast. It was quiet, though, so Georgie figured it would be some time before her friend arrives. "Anyway, what did you do with Eric? Must have been something important, for you to lose sleep because of it." 

"You know. The usual." 

God, his voice sounded so... relaxed. But with Rudyard Funn nothing was relaxed. EVER. His mere being was a contradiction of the word. Somehow, though, he managed to look like he just won a lottery despite obvious bags under his eyes. Which is why his presence raised even more questions than his awfully vague answer. 

Unfortunately, there was another thing Georgie got wrong that day. Antigone Funn was up already. 

"Some of us were trying to sleep, you know?" She greeted them, although no hostility was visible on her face. It was a playful bickering that Georgie was slowly getting used to as something characteristic to Antigone Funn now. 

"Sorry, Antigone." She apologised, sending a big smile across the room. Georgie will investigate this 'Chapman case'. Later. 

 

4\. Antigone Funn 

Antigone Funn knew something was odd when she first entered the kitchen, but since she was aware of her own limitations, she didn't attempt to resolve it. Now, though, it was becoming unbearable. Georgie was tense and Rudyard was... not her usual grumpy brother. At. All. 

Earlier, Georgie briefed her in a hushed voice about what she found out during breakfast preparations, so that it was Antigone who acted on it. Whatever it actually was. 

Antigone sighed and finally addressed the elephant in the room. 

"You get on well with Eric?" 

Rudyard looked puzzled for a moment, like he never before thought through the matter. It took him only a few seconds to pull himself together, which was odd. But the 'odd' began to become the new 'normal' with her brother, Antigone thought. 

"Well, you could say that." He still looked puzzled, but there was no indication he was opposed to the idea of being close to Chapman anymore. "We are certainly closer since you told me to make out with him." A slight pause. "I mean, make up with him." 

Antigone stayed silent, although she marked the slip up in her mind for further consideration. 

"That's good." 

"I'm not happy about it, if anyone is interested." Commented Georgie, putting her knife down. She has finished her meal earlier, but toyed with the cutlery, thinking. Her face was blank, but her body language was tense. "I still think he can be a bad influence on Mr Funn." 

"Georgie, don't be so harsh. He helped us, on some occasions." Antigone Funn mimicked her friend and put away her plate. "Besides, he is our business partner now. Forming bonds with partners is important if you want a relationship to flourish." 

"Yes, but it's not like Eric needs some convincing form Rudyard. They hate each other." 

"Hated, past tense. And not true." Rudyard finally spoke up, his gaze determined. "Eric is a fine man." 

Georgie and Antigone looked at each other, brows raised. It was peculiar for Rudyard to behave like this. 

"So you DO like him after all" his sister teased purposefully. 

"Of course I do." Rudyard snorted and rolled his eyes, finally looking a bit more like his normal self. Although it only took him a few seconds to regain his composure. "I wouldn't spend time with him over wise." 

His words were serious, but his expression was full of emotion feeling unfamiliar on his face. He, too, pushed away his plate and stood up, taking the dishes away. 

It took his interlocutors by surprise. Rudyard Funn openly showing, well, affection for someone? Eric Chapman, nevertheless? True, he previously expressed his feelings towards the other man, but they were mostly negative. Odd, odd, odd. Helping with housework? Either more peculiar. 

"Besides, Antigone. As you said, it's better to stay friends with him. Now excuse me, ladies. I have a meeting to attend to." 

"A meeting?" 

"Yes, a meeting, Georgie. Did I stutter?" Now, there was the grumpy Rudyard everyone hated. "An important one." 

"Who's the lucky guy, then?" Georgie had this smug look on her face, like she has already worked out a complicated puzzled. A look that made her look a bit like a cat. 

"I'm to meet with E-" he stopped himself before he could reveal too much. "You know, what? Never mind. Enjoy yourselves." 

Funn didn't even spare them a glance when he walked out the door. Soon, they expected to hear the door close, as Rudyard was a rather loud person. They did not catch even a slightest sound from them. They did, however, hear a familiar voice greeting Funn outside. 

"Make out, Antigone? Tell me you didn't say that to him." 

"I'm pretty sure I didn't." Miss Funn sighed and looked at her friend. "I just hope he won't do anything stupid. Oh, don’t give me that look, Georgie." 

"You know he will do something dumb. He's Rudyard, for God's sake!" 

"I know, Georgie. I know." 

Both ladies glanced at the pile of freshly washed dishes. They were not perfectly clean, some of them still had chunks of food on the surface. But they were not as dirty as people would expect form Rudyard Funn. 

"I will be in the basement, if you need me." 

"I'll wash the dishes, then." 

"Thank you, Georgie." 

"Don't mention it, Antigone." 

 

5\. Piffling Vale 

It was an exciting couple of weeks for Piffling Vale. Partially because it was almost time for the annual Piffling Festival. And partially because the host of the event has been announced to be no other than Eric Chapman. Everyone knew that if Eric was involved, the ceremony would be unforgettable. 

Everything went smoothly, not even Rudyard Funn tried to disrupt the preparations. It was suspicious for some, although most of Piffling residents simply treasured the fact that there was nothing to fear for now. After all, even Funn wouldn't be as rude as to bother anyone during the festival. 

The time has come and everyone gathered in the previously agreed place – Chapman's boat. It was time for Eric to open the ceremony. 

And there he was, handsome as ever, with his light tan, blond hair everyone envied him and his eyes that made everyone shiver with anticipation. With the dark purple suit and black shirt, he looked surprisingly appropriate for the occasion. He confidently crossed the stage and gripped the microphone tightly. He was a hair paler then normally, which was understandable. Everyone would be nervous if they were to speak before a large group of people. Not many thought deeply about this strange behaviour, but ones who did, couldn't shake the feeling something was about to happen and Rudyard Funn was somehow involved. 

"Welcome, citizens of Piffling Vale, to the annual Piffling festival!" He began cheerfully, making eye contact with everyone. "I will be your host today and I hope we will have a wonderful day together!" 

Everyone nodded with agreement. Every year the event looked similar, but this year it's Eric who took care of things, so good time was guaranteed. They relaxed a bit more and their smiles returned to the right places. 

"This year I prepared a lot of fun activities! From scuba diving to water boarding and even an opportunity to fly a balloon. Everyone will find something they like." 

Eric licked his lips and took a deep breath. 

"But before we do all of that... I want you to greet my co-host. Please, welcome my dearest friend, Rudyard Funn!" 

There was no applause, as everyone was rather dumbfounded with the revelation. And there he was, walking onto the stage. He looked different, though, much more pleasant to the eye. One would not say 'handsome', 'interesting' was more like it. His long, greasy hair has been neatly combed by a skilful hand; cleverly applied make up hid bags under his eyes. The clothing did its job, too, of course. The navy-blue suit combined with black shirt and lavender tie didn't present half bad on him. It made his skin less pale and eyes pop. Whoever picked up his clothes deserved a praise. It wasn't just the clothing, though. Rudyard's posture wasn't that bad anymore and his eyes were steadily placed in one place – Eric's face. They smiled at each other and continued with the ceremony, ignoring the confused citizens. 

Everyone moved on, eventually. Not to say that the forgot about the pair, it was easier said than done. But they minded their own business. 

During the course of the event, the citizens noticed the small things that the forgot about before, or which weren't relevant to them previously. Light touches on the back when no one seemed to be around. The constant eye contact, whenever it was possible for the two of them to do so. The attentiveness, not only on Rudyard's part – Eric also looked like he needed his partner to look at him, talk to him, touch him at every moment. Despite their obvious closeness, however, they always kept their distance. Not once did they violate each other's personal space or touched the other's hand or back longer than a few seconds. It was as if neither of them was willing to admit to others that they were more than 'dear friends'. Even if it was visible to anyone who looked at them for more than ten seconds. 

With more examples it was becoming more and more apparent that there were only two possible answers to the question no one dared to voice. 

Either Eric and Rudyard thought so little of their friends that they thought they could get away with that much flirting and still think no one will consider them romantically involved or... 

Or the two dorks were hopelessly pinning after each other, not knowing how, or not wanting to, compromise their newly formed friendship. Either way, it was painful to watch and people of Piffling knew better than not to play with fire. 

 

END of chapter one.


	2. Two idiots playing with fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Piffling Festival is around the corner, but Eric has other things to worry about...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Before the Festival

Eric stared at himself in the mirror. He’s been under a lot of stress recently and it was showing. Small but visible bags under blue eyes, skin pale under the usual tan, hair lacking their usual shine.

Planning any event is stressful enough. Having people watch your every step is even more difficult. But when said individuals exchange suspicious stares behind your back and add peculiar comments - that’s where Eric’s sanity crosses the line. And Chapman didn’t have any idea what all the conspiracy could be about; for once in his life he was truly clueless.

But now all that was important was the festival. Eric took a deep breath and closed his eyes; he needed to go through his plan of action for the next day. He knew he would have to keep his cheerful persona on for the duration of the day – that wouldn’t be a problem… or at least it wouldn’t if he didn’t feel so broken recently. He could use a co-host. Someone, who would able to endure the pressure. Plus, the morals are always higher when there is dialogue on the stage.

Bloody hell was he tired.

He raised heavy eyelids and took a good look at three suits laying awkwardly on the bed. Eric planned to hung them in the closet before going to sleep.

A knock on the door.

Eric smiled stupidly while reaching for the door knob. History likes to repeat itself-

“It’s almost midnight, but if you’re here you can help me with the suits-“

“Eric, darling, you look fantastic in everything!”

Oh.

“Lady Templar!” Now, THAT was a grand surprise. “Did I forget about a meeting? I believe we had it scheduled for Tuesday?”

“Nothing of the sort, darling.” His guest’s gaze was unusually warm. “Just was in the neighbourhood.”

Chapman knew it wasn’t true, but knew better than to point it out to his lover, of sorts.

“In any case, I am delighted to have you here. Coffee? Tea?”

“Thank you, darling, but I won’t stay long.” She smiled at him longingly and patted his upper arm reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anyone you were expecting someone else.”

“But I-“ started Eric, but was quickly interrupted when Lady Templar placed her long finger on his lips.

“Although everyone already knows about you two; you are not being discreet about it if I’m honest.” Her smile was now bright and nostalgic. “I don’t blame you, though. Hiding a relationship would be futile in a small village like this anyway.”

Eric sighed and gave up on trying to catch up with his acquaintance.

“Did you want anything else, Lady Templar?” His patience was wearing off and it would be best to get some sleep soon, so that he wouldn’t look like, well, Rudyard.

She giggled at this, but stayed silent otherwise. Instead, her skilled fingers started to play with the fabric of his wrinkled shirt. Damn, he forgot he was preparing for sleep before her interruption… He must look awfully ordinary with half done clothes and greasy hair... Despite the way he must’ve smelled, Lady Templar traced the stitches of his top nostalgically.

Finally, she looked up and when their eyes met, placed a warm hand on his cheek.

It was all very theatrical.

It also looked like a farewell.

“Darling, I won’t keep a true love apart. If it was just this person, I would laugh it off as a joke. But it’s both of you, and I see your smile when your eyes meet… You light up, Eric!” Now, she was fully dedicated to her role. Her hands, previously rather still, now wore a resemblance to little flies attracted by a rotten fruit. Not Eric’s best analogy. Chapman almost rolled his eyes at the gestures. Almost. “And the other one… It’s like you used a magic spell!”

Not knowing what his guest was talking about, Eric smiled awkwardly and grasped Lady Templar’s hands with his own. That made her calm down a bit. Although now she was eyeing him suspiciously.

“You can’t really think about kissing me for the last time, can you? Well, it can’t be helped.”

The kiss lasted only a few seconds but reminded Eric about all the things he liked in Lady Templar.

She left like she came to his life – suddenly and with fanfares.

“See you at the festival! I will try not to seduce you again!”

Just like that, he wasn’t hers and she wasn’t his anymore.

~~~~

Rudyard came a few minutes later, wearing his usual grim expression.

“I saw your door was wide open-“ he began, stumbling with words. “I thought maybe something's happened to you… Even though it seemed unlikely-“

Eric smiled lightly at the words. Having just lived through yet ANOTHER break up with Lady Templar he was grateful for the concern.

“Thank you, Rudyard.” His friend looked a bit surprised at the words. And- was this a blush? Was Rudyard blushing? And it wasn’t just his cheeks reddening; his whole face and neck blossomed in vibrant scarlet colour. Eric wanted to say something, but he found his usual coolness gone, replaced with sweaty palms and hitched breath. Honestly, what was going on with him? He cleared his throat a few times before speaking up again. “Frankly speaking, I have a favour, you can say, I want to ask you…”

That caught Funn’s attention.

“Is everything all right, Eric?” He sounded legitimately concerned, which led Chapman to believe that his face gave away more emotions than he was meaning to show. On another note, it was unusual to demonstrate such compassion for another human being.

“Quite, Rudyard. Thank you for your concern. It was… nice of you to come and check on me.”

“Well, to be honest it was Georgie’s idea-“

“Rudyard-“ sighed Eric, letting himself grin affectionately. “You could just let me believe it was all you, for once.”

“Sorry… It’s so easy to slip and-” he sounded authentically disheartened.

“Don’t apologise for who you are, Rudyard. Besides, I’m glad you came. And- nothing comes easy, to any of us.” His friend didn’t looked convinced. “Hey, even I had to learn how to behave at social gatherings. Of course, I always had my charisma, but all of the other things I had to learn from scratch-“

“A long time ago.” They finished in unison. There was no malice in those words and Eric found himself astonished at the fact, that he was not, in fact, irritated with Rudyard’s friendly mocking. The other fact that surprised him was that he somehow knew that the way Funn spoke to him this time was never intended to hurt Eric. One could say that it was almost playful, flirtatious even. In Rudyard’s

way, of course. Not everyone would find this way of interacting approachable, but Chapman found himself comforted by the idea that his neighbour wasn’t vicious towards him anymore.

Eric was so caught up with his thoughts that he almost missed the peculiar expression that flashed through Rudyard’s face before changing into his standard look. Still, it was too fast even for trained eyes to register the meaning behind it.

“Will you come in for a moment? I need you to help me with something.” Eric closed the door and placed a hand on Rudyard’s lower back, leading them both upstairs. “I am unable to decide on the suit for tomorrow’s festival. I thought that maybe you could lend me your refined taste.” The comment earned him a snort from his friend. “So, which one do you like the most?”

Rudyard gave him suspicious glance. “Are you quite serious, Eric? You want me, of all people, to help you choose a bloody suit for your big moment?”

“Yes, Rudyard, I am definitely serious about this. Now. Which one?”

“Well-“

It was apparent that Rudyard did not feel confident in the situation. He was opening his mouth over and over again, never once letting any sound come from it. Finally, he turned to face Eric, his expression hopeless.

“Honestly, I have no idea why you asked me and-“

“Just pick the damn suit, Rudyard.”

“Fine. The blue one” he blurted out, immediately losing all colour in his face. “Or the gold one. I think I’ll just go-“ He started to stumble on his feet so hard that Eric had to steady him, placing a strong hand on the other man’s shoulder.

“Hey, you made a decision, congratulations!” The blonde man smiled, but his companion wouldn’t meet his eyes. He still fidgeted, greasy hair covering almost half of his face. That would have to be taken care of soon. Eric strengthened his grip. “Guess you are wearing the blue one, then” he blurted without thinking.

Rudyard’s eyes shot up. “What?” he snapped, voice impossibly high.

“Listen, this-“ Eric motioned towards the clothes laying on his unmade bed. “Was not the whole favour. I want you-“ He stopped himself, urging his mind to come up with something not sounding like Rudyard was obliged to help him. “I want to ask you to host with me at the Festival. Tomorrow. As my friend.” Sensing that he was losing the ground, Chapman quickly added “Please, I won’t be able to do it alone.”

Rudyard met his gaze and kept silent for a moment before murmuring something under his breath. Only then did it occur to Eric how close they were standing to each other, noses just a few centimetres apart. It was too late to back down, though, so he tried desperately to keep his focus on his friend’s eyes and not think about how long his lashes were, or how eye-catching his iris glowed under artificial light.

“Sorry?”

“I said: Why?” Funn knitted his brows together, determination emitting from his body. “You know I am not a co-host material. We can both predict how this would end.” His voice started to raise rapidly, but he still didn’t break the eye contact with Eric. And Eric was lost, unsettled by the

straightforwardness of his mate. “I would mess something up in the first couple of minutes and then, like everybody expects, I would snap at everyone who has fun, not even once remembering to smile while they ‘enjoy themselves’! I would kill the mood for every single citizen of Piffling, because-“ his voice broke and he was breathing hastily, trembling in Eric’s grasp. “Because that’s just the way everyone thinks I am, so why not oblige?”

“Rudyard-“

“No, Chapman! Before you came to this town I was oblivious to my actions and I was fine. Antigone was fine. We. Were. Fine. But then- Then you settled in Piffling Vale and you turned everything around and now- Now you changed even me-“ Rudyard’s face was red and his eyes watery. Still, he kept shouting, despite shaking so hard it pained Eric to look at him. “Now I know how I act and- And I want to be better. But it’s bloody hard and I don’t know if I can do it alone-“

Rudyard Funn was sobbing before him and Eric desperately wanted to hug him strongly, squeezing the last drop of self-loathing out of him. But he couldn’t do it. If he did, Chapman had a feeling his friend would flat-out refuse to listen to him. Instead, he did the second best thing he could, which was steading Rudyard’s shoulders with his hands and making sure to stop them from shaking.

“Rudyard” he urged, waiting for the other man to look at him before speaking up again. “You” he placed a palm on Funn’s chest, right where he knew the heart was. “Are not alone. I will help you, whatever it takes. And never, ever say that you are better off acting according to everyone’s expectations. Exceed them. Because-“ his hand was on Rudyard’s arm again, squeezing reassuringly. “You are not a constant. You can change, for better or worse. And, frankly, I have never met anyone as unordinary as you. We had our fair share of disagreements, that’s true. And I am not perfect, either. But we are trying. And that’s what's important. Let them think what they want. We know the truth.”

Eric let a slow breath, encouraging Funn to do the same. Together they worked through the worst part of the conversation and Chapman felt proud of them both. He smiled at his friend and when the motion was hesitantly returned, he felt joy rising in his chest.

“You are a great man, Rudyard. Don’t forget that.”

“You are also… a man, Chapman” teased Funn, although Eric had no idea what that was a reference to. They stayed silent for a bit, enjoying each other’s presence. “Thank you” he whispered at last, stepping back a little.

“You are welcome, Rudyard” answered Eric joyfully. “Your decision?”

“I-“ his voice was quiet yet steady. His lips formed a shy smile. “I will happily join you.”

Eric ginned in response and glanced at the clock. One o’clock. His gaze returned to Rudyard’s silhouette.

“How about I let you take a nap in the guest room and we will begin the preparations?”

“What preparations?” asked Rudyard cautiously, his defences already up.

Eric raised an eyebrow teasingly. “You can’t host an official social gathering while looking like THIS, can you?” He eyed his friend from head to toes, deliberately slow and with seemingly serious expression. “We have to fix your hair, for one.”

“What’s wrong with my hair, now?”

“Come one, Rudyard. It will be fun!”

“I don’t share your idea of ‘fun’, Eric, but fine. Won’t hurt me.” He hesitated. “Just don’t cut it too short, deal?”

“It’s a pleasure doing business with you.” Eric used his ‘work’ voice for that one, which made Rudyard snort in amusement.

“Whatever you say.”

~~~~

They didn’t get much sleep, as there was a lot of preparing to do. But finally, they were ready. Looking at the other man in the mirror, Eric admired his work, as it was one of his finest.

He used every bit of his experience with make-up, hairstyling, sewing and styling to help Rudyard, and in his opinion he did a marvellous job at it.

Rudyard no longer looked tired, as thanks to the little make-up magic the bags under his eyes disappeared. His dark brown, almost black eyes that usually made him look unsettling now worked in his favour, ready to draw in the innocent bystander. The hair Eric took the most pride in – neatly trimmed, carefully washed and styled in a ponytail tied with a light-purple ribbon low on Funn’s neck, together with navy-blue suit, black shirt and lavender tie made a truly wonderful view. Thanks to their conversation Rudyard was no longer tense, instead standing straightened next to Eric. He even smiled with the corner of his mouth.

Both men looked each other in the eyes and nodded in sync.

“Let’s go” commanded Eric with determination in his blue eyes.

“Let’s go” agreed Rudyard, taking a last look at himself in the mirror before heading out.

Eric Chapman came right after him, wondering how a person can change so much physically after gaining a bit of self-confidence. It made him genuinely curious if Rudyard Funn will be able to accomplish what he intended to do in a few hours. The thought made Eric’s heart skip a beat.

~~~~

The Festival

They arrived on the boat before everyone else, but only by a few precious minutes. Acting as per previous agreement, Rudyard hid somewhere under the deck, using skills he learned from Antigone. In the meantime, Eric made sure everything was in order. He barely had time to check his list before the Mayor arrived, obnoxiously flirtatious towards his partner.

“Eric! What a pleasant surprise!” greeted him Mayor Desmond Desmond, hitting his back forcefully.

“Not really, seeing as it IS my boat, Desmond, but-“ He conjured a bright smile and continued on. “I’m glad you both found time to come.”

“Why wouldn’t we? Everyone will be here!” This time it was Nigel who spoke up. His vicar clothes decorated with feathery scarf in every colour of the rainbow. “Even the Funns!”

There was a special tone to it, but Eric had no will to explore it more.

“Hope everything turns out all right, Eric! See you around?” This time they both slapped him on the back, giggling like a pair of lovestruck teenagers.

“Yes… See you around.”

Before he knew it, Eric already had to go on stage and greet everyone officially. By far, most people mentioned the Funn sibling, some of them in harsher tones than the rest. Everyone seemed reluctant to have Antigone and Rudyard at the event.

All of this made Eric fidget for the first time in years. Was making Rudyard a co-host really a good idea? No, he couldn’t think that! They were friends, even if Rudyard tried to kill him at some point.

Chapman breathed in and out a few times and then he finally felt ready to go on stage. His step confident and gaze deliberately fixed at one thing. Evening out a non-existent fold on his suit, Eric felt ready for the speech, at last.

“Welcome, citizens of Piffling Vale, to the annual Piffling festival!” Trying his best to at least seem like he was making eye contact with everyone, he brought up his usual cheerful voice. At the same time as he was speaking, Chapman started searching the crowd for the familiar navy-blue. “I will be your host today and I hope we will have a wonderful day together!”

He noticed the blue suit as it moved towards the entrance of the stage, not entering the stairs yet. Good, Rudyard remembered the plan of action. Eric rearranged his grip on the microphone and eyed the deck cautiously. The atmosphere was relaxed, which brought him at ease.

"This year I prepared a lot of fun activities!” Somehow, it became more difficult for him to breath. What the hell was he so nervous about? “From scuba diving to water boarding and even an opportunity to fly a balloon. Everyone will find something they like." His lips felt dry under his tongue. "But before we do all of that... I want you to greet my co-host." He felt his heart pounding in his chest. "Please, welcome my dearest friend, Rudyard Funn!"

It was like a nightmare. Everyone was silent, even Desmond and Nigel stopped their cheerful chattering. Almost everyone looked like they understood what was happening but still couldn’t believe Eric had the guts to pull off a stun like that. But he had and he did. Only Georgie and, he presumed, Antigone truly looked surprised, though only the younger woman caught Chapman’s eye and mouthed something that could mean ‘how’ or ‘wow’. Either way, no one was content with the turn of events.

And then-

Then Rudyard came on stage and Eric’s mouth felt a lot more dry than when he was stuck on the dessert this one time, a long time ago. It was like running a marathon, just no water was available for the whole duration of the run. Like- well, you get the idea.

Even though he saw him earlier, the artificial light at home didn’t do Rudyard’s transformation justice. His hair was still combed, although no longer as pristine as when Chapman first worked on it. A few stray hair peeked from his sides, creating an astonishing effect. He loosened the tie and undid first two buttons, too. Eric subconsciously knew it was because his friend had trouble breathing with something so close to his throat, but the overall look it created- It was breathtaking. But it wasn’t just his appearance. His posture was straight and confident, it was like meeting Rudyard for the first time, like seeing him as a completely new person. And Eric liked it. A lot.

That’s not to say he didn’t like the usual Rudyard, just seeing him like that was doing wonders to Eric’s imagination. Which he couldn’t allow to run wild right now, he reminded himself and locked eyes with his friend.

When Funn joined him on stage it was apparent that he was way more nervous than Eric. From far he walked confidently, but from close proximity you could see shaking hands and sweat forming on the temples. Despite the tension, Rudyard didn’t lose his edge, as when Chapman thanked him once more for helping, he only raised an eyebrow and retorted: “Didn’t have anything better to do today, either way”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual, I was able to post this chapter only thanks to my gracious beta - kivutio.
> 
> I'm sorry if thi part seems a bit long, but next chapter won't touch the Festival anymore, so there is that. Don't know when I'll be able to write it, though.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed yourselves!


	3. Last straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our two dorks work things out in the most awkward way possible. Although they may need a little push-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me almost a month to post an update... I had life to deal with. 
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The next few hours passed for Rudyard in a pleasant haze of lack of social interaction and brief awareness of Eric’s presence lingering in the back of his mind. When he finally came to, he was once again inside of Chapman’s house, slowly sipping a lukewarm tea.

Both men stayed silent, Eric reading an old book and Rudyard observing him from the corner of his eye. It was pleasant, Funn thought, closing his eyes for a moment.

“They think I’m dating someone, you know. Someone other than lady Templar, I mean.”

Rudyard’s eyes shot open and his head turned towards Chapman hastily, accompanied by the sound of glass falling on the floor. His pants became soaking wet immediately.

“Excuse me?”

Eric’s gaze kept lazily scanning the same page.

“The whole village thinks that I am… associated with someone. For whatever reason.”

“Really, now?” snorted Rudyard, his hands reaching for a bigger shard of glass. “What a ridiculous idea.”

Eric hummed in response, finally closing his book. Now Rudyard could clearly see its title. ‘Pride and Prejudice’. What an odd choice for a man like Eric Chapman. “Better go upstairs and change. I’ll bring you clothes.”

“Yours?” 

“No, Rudyard. Yours.” sighed Eric while standing up, his gaze cryptic. “You left some yesterday.”

“That I did.”

Going upstairs, Rudyard replayed the whole conversation in his mind, not knowing what to make of the ambiguous comment his friend provided him with. On one hand, Funn noticed the unnerving stares the citizens of Piffling started to cumber Eric with. On the other hand, however… The way Eric mentioned the issue- Like he didn’t mind the rumour. And that hurt.

Wait.

No, that couldn’t be right. They HATED each other.

The flashback to the night before appeared in Rudyard’s mind. They got on just well then… Well, maybe not anymore. But they still couldn’t stand each other for too long- That also didn’t feel right. Just now, they spent a lovely evening together, enjoying each other’s presence. It wasn’t just today, either. For the past two weeks they’ve been together almost constantly. Rudyard hanging out in Eric’s funeral house, learning how to greet clients properly, Eric eating dinner at Funn’s, entertaining Antigone and Georgie with his fun anecdotes. 

They tolerated each other, then. Rudyard felt instantly that it wasn’t quite that the moment he let the thought appear in his mind. He felt SOMETHING towards Eric Chapman that went way beyond simple feelings like hate or even- love. It was more complex and, honestly, even the man himself couldn’t wrap his head around it fully. 

It was a companionship, to some degree. But having Eric around caused Rudyard to feel a whole range of specific emotions. Joy. Annoyance. Anticipation. Disapproval. Admiration. Peace. Devotion. 

Just thinking about it set Rudyard’s heart into a happy dance.

Oh.

“Yes, that would add up” he whispered and pushed the bathroom door.

Soon after, the knock on the door interrupted Rudyard while he was in the middle of removing his stained pants. The voice followed shortly after.

“Are you decent, Rudyard?” 

Funn took off all of his clothes and stood in the middle of the room hesitantly. While he spoke, his eyes searched the place to find a of dark blue towel belonging to Eric.

“Of course, Eric. I’m not leading a brothel, after all.”

“Great!” The door moved at an incomprehensible speed. “Then I’ll com-“

Silence fell between then, giving Rudyard time to compose himself and cover his embarrassing parts with a piece of cloth. Eric’s cheeks were a touch more pinkish than normally, but his resigned expression spoke volumes to Funn.

“You know, I’m not even surprised at this point” began Eric, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But I will ask regardless. Why did you tell me you were clothed?”

Rudyard’s own face started to heat up with every passing minute, but he tried to keep his cool nevertheless. “You asked if I was decent, and-“ His towel almost fell to the ground when Rudyard suddenly straightened up. “I will have you know that I am a very decent man.”

Eric looked at his friend’s face and a towel hanging loosely from his bony hips and raised an eyebrow questioningly. Rudyard rolled his eyes in response and fixed the cloth so that it didn’t feel as close to slipping to the floor.

“Sorry for barging in, then, Decent Man” teased Chapman, placing garments on the nearby cabinet. “I was never here.”

“I can see you, so yes, you were-oh” 

Eric snorted, closing the door behind himself. “Call me if you need me.”

“Sure.” 

 

~~~~

 

Rudyard’s breath progressively slowed, his vision clearing. His mind, however, was hastily analysing his previous actions. He was already dressed, shirt buttoned up as per usual.

“Well, Rudyard. You’ve been in trouble before, but this time you’ve exceeded even yourself” sighed his reflexion. “How will you get out of this mess, mate?”

Funn looked away from the mirror and sat on the cold bathroom floor. The tiles were stained with little drops of water and the air still held the steamy remainder of the shower he took earlier. He rested his back on a modern looking cabinet and closed his eyes. He could feel his bare feet touching the ice cold surface. It would be wise to get up soon. Then again, Rudyard Funn was never a wise man. Rudyard let the breath he didn’t know he was holding, allowing his arms to drop and jaw to relax.

“I love him, don’t I?” he groaned, covering both eyes with his left hand. His knew he sounded defeated, yet at this point he was beyond giving a damn. “I bloody love him.”

Funn barely fought the tears. 

“After all those years…” 

Suddenly, Rudyard rose up with a quiet pant and pulled the door open. Outside there was no sight of Chapman, although Funn listened intensely to any sound coming from downstairs to reassure himself that Eric was, in fact, still in the living room. Cooking something that even now made Rudyard’s mouth water. He could get used to it-

Funn bit the inside of his mouth until he felt the faint taste of iron down his throat. 

“Damn.”

He composed himself as much as he was able to and went down the fancy stairs, trying to look normal. Whatever this ‘normal’ was.

At first Eric didn’t notice that his guest has already arrived. He hummed a happy tune while simultaneously reading a passage from the cooking book, stirring something in the small pot and checking voice messages on his phone. Rudyard was about to speak up when something made him stop in his track. Something in this image was clearly wrong.

Rudyard often thought about Eric’s spare time and what his neighbour dedicated it to. This was all he imagined and more. Chapman, in his fabulous form, doing a couple of things at once, creating a domestic atmosphere for a lovely young lady or a lively man. 

 

‘That’s right’ thought Rudyard, backing up. ‘I am the one who doesn’t match the picture.’

His back hit something and at once, Eric’s attention was drawn from the book to Rudyard. His eyes were sparkling cheerfully, although soon worry appeared in his look.

“I thought I’d make us a dinner to apologise for my behaviour earlier… Rudyard, is everything alright? You seem pale-“

“Yes!” He made sure to make his voice loud enough so that Eric wouldn’t notice the panic that hid under it. “I am well. Just- Have to go now. Sorry-!” he blurred out with a nervous giggle as his hand reached the door handle.

“Rudyard?” Eric’s voice stopped Funn from opening the door and running God knows where. It was almost too much to handle.

Without turning to face Chapman, Rudyard Funn said “I’ll see you later, okay?” and without missing a beat the man went into the cold.

 

~~~~

 

It was Georgie who found him, in the end. Wearing a usual crooked smile accompanied by the murderous smile, she looked like a woman who didn’t like what she was about to do. Rudyard took of his sweater and placed it on the ground for her, but she purposefully ignored it. He understood her, though. Towering over others suited her better than speaking to them on their level.

Rudyard’s gaze lingered on Georgie for a while before returning to observing restless waves hitting the scarp mercilessly. It was a cold evening and despite having unpleasant goose bumps all over his arms, Rudyard remained still until his friend finally spoke up.

“You are an in idiot, you know.” With no response from her boss, she continued. “Why did you run from Chapman? I know he’s a pain in the ass, but… You haven’t killed him yet.”

Silence fell between them, only the sound of waves and seagulls breaking it. Georgie studied Rudyard’s profile, unable to read the expression he was wearing. Finally, she gave up and sat down with a sigh.

“What did you argue about this time?”

At this, Rudyard opened his mouth, at last. And then abruptly closed it, turning his head to face Georgie. After giving her a sharp look, he looked back at the sea.

“Don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. But you don’t have to be so hostile.”

They sat together for a moment, both silent and lost in thoughts. Georgie glanced at her boss from time to time, making sure he was feeling alright. Although no matter how long she looked at his face, she couldn’t come up with a reason why he was behaving in that way. Normally he would just storm into Funn Funerals and tell Antigone and her whatever Eric did. This time it felt different. More personal.

“I’m here for you, Mr Funn” she reminded Rudyard quietly. With the corner of her eye she could see him tense up. “I won’t push you, but- Just know that I am here. And I am willing to listen to you. If you want me to.” He didn’t relax at her words, although his jaw loosened a bit, which Georgie counted as a win. “I can always call Antigone, if you’d prefer.”

“No!” snapped Rudyard, before composing himself and adding in lower voice “No, I… Thank you, Georgie.” He sounded tired and Georgie barely resisted the urge to hug him. Nevertheless, he was still Rudyard and would probably kill her if she tried to do such a thing. “I just have to cope with some things. Alone.”

“Is this-“ Georgie took a deep breath and braced herself for the worst. “Is this connected to Eric in any way? Because if he hurt you, I will-“

“I- No, Georgie” repeated Funn. “He didn’t- I have- God damn it.” He turned to face his friend and bit his lower lip. “It IS about Eric, okay? But… not in a way you think it is.”

“So he didn’t hurt you? So why are you here, looking like you just got your heart broken?” pressed Georgie teasingly. Although one look at Rudyard’s face was enough to stop her from smiling. “Did he break up with you?”

“What? No!”

“I heard the rumours but didn’t think you were actually a couple-“

“No, Georgie! We are not, were not, a couple. Never.”

“But-“ It was Georgie’s turn to frown. Nothing made sense for her. “You are clearly heartbroken. And you said it was about Eric. So correct me if I’m wrong, but… Did he reject you? Is that what happened?”

Rudyard pressed his lips together until the formed a thin white line contrasting with his long black hair. He was paler than usual, Georgie noticed now that he was closer to her than before. Bags under his eyes were also a bit more visible. 

“What-“

“I- I think I- I think I fell in love with him. Not recently, but I only noticed today.” His breath was shaky and it was obvious to Georgie that he was scared. “Georgie, I- I have never felt this way and I don’t know what to do…” His voice broke and Rudyard was no longer looking at his friend. “I will just have to wait for it to pass, I guess. So, Georgie, don’t worry about it. As I said earlier. I don’t need Antigone to worry about small thing like this. If you’d be so kind and not tell her I’d-“

“I won’t bloody let it go!” yelled Georgie, her voice shrieking as she did so. She finally dared to touch Rudyard and squeezed his arm painfully hard. “I won’t let you drown in sadness like some lonely old man. You are my friend, Rudyard. Even if you are tactless and an insensitive arse at times.”

“Hey!”

“I can tell you are in pain” she continued, loosening her grip. “And it tears my heart apart to see that you think you don’t deserve some happiness in your dull life.”

“You don’t understand, Georgie. It’s not that I think I don’t deserve to be happy.” Rudyard took another shaky breath. “I know it. I’ve been an awful human being, Eric has helped me to realise this.”

“Oh Rudyard-“

“And I can’t forget it. Neither can he, apparently. But… That’s not why- Why I won’t tell him, can’t tell him, how I feel.” Rudyard pressed his legs to his stomach and hugged them tightly. “I got to know him. Better than I ever thought I would. And somehow I never before noticed that I liked him from the minute one. The fact that we are closer than ever… 

Seeing him every day, smiling with me, not at me, spending time with him, talking to him, watching him- It only made me feel more for him. Every time I see him, my insides BURN. His laugh, his comments, his cooking, his presence, his attitude… It makes me want to spend the rest of my life with him and it’s just not happening…

I am not someone who he would fall for, ever. His type is someone like Lady Templar. Beautiful, charismatic. And even if he liked me the same way I like him, which he doesn’t, I have no experience in relationships. I panic a lot, I’m grumpy, can’t read social cues well. I wouldn’t know how to make him happy so our relationship would be an instant failure, only making us more miserable.”

This was the most Rudyard Funn has said to anyone in a long time, but that didn’t stir up his friend one bit.

“You done?” Georgie stared at him, brows knitted together and look at her face sharp. “’Cause if I have learned one thing from my Nana, it’s that if you don’t make an effort to make your life better, no one will.” Somehow she was even closer to his face than before. “And if I know one thing about Eric, it’s that he needs someone with whom he can be himself. Which means Lady Templar is off the table for him.” Not giving Rudyard time to compute her point, she pressed on. “And I want you to understand one thing, Rudyard. If you mess up your life just because you think you don’t deserve to be happy… I will beat the living shit out of you.”

Rudyard fell silent, staring at Georgie with an open mouth. He had difficulty understanding her words. He has spilled his guts to her and she threatens to hurt him for some reason?

“I- I don’t think I understand you properly” he confessed warily.

“All I’m saying, Rudyard” she sighed, getting up “is ‘go for it’.”

“Just like that? ‘Go for it’?” Rudyard quirked one eyebrow and glanced up in time to see Georgie roll her eyes.

“Yes, Rudyard. ‘Go for it’. What could go wrong?”

“You must be messing with me!” 

“I am most certainly not” she reassured and started walking towards the village. “And what would life be without a little bit of fun? If he rejects you and you’ll have to live with it, well, it’s part of being human. If he accepts you… You know, go with it.” She stopped. “But if you try and wait for this feeling to pass… Knowing you it will turn against you and only cause you pain.” The bitterness in her was excruciating. “Tell him. Please.”

She started walking again, only to be stopped by the quiet cry from Rudyard.

“What-“

“Doesn’t matter now, Rudyard. It’s about you, not me.” Georgie turned her head to Rudyard and smiled at him sombrely. “I will tell you one day. Maybe.”

She was long gone before Rudyard Funn was able to move from his spot on the edge of the cliff. He had a decision to make and a promise to fulfil.

 

 

~~~~

 

 

Back at the Chapman’s, before Rudyard stormed from his house, Eric wondered about his friend’s unusual behaviour, as well as the whole ‘Eric is secretly dating someone and we are hurt that he didn’t tell us’ thing everyone in Piffling Vale seemed to participate in. Obviously, just until yesterday he was dating, if you can call it that, Lady Templar. Only her, though. Which made him curious, what has he done recently that caught everyone’s attention. 

Ignoring a quiet noise from behind him, Eric got up his chair and started pacing around the room, thinking.

He has prepared a few funerals, as per usual. Participating in a council meeting was nothing out of ordinary, so that certainly wasn’t the cause of his trouble. He hasn’t went out on a date with Lady Templar for about a week or two, true, but that was only because he has visited Funn’s every now and then. Oh, and he and Rudyard have been meeting every now and then for a friendly chat. They have also went for a short trip last Sunday. And had a wonderful time during the game night with Funn’s and Georgie. 

“Do they suspect that I may be dating Georgie or Antigone?” he said out loud, lost in thoughts.

“Oh dear” sighed a familiar voice near his left ear. He tried to stop himself from screaming in surprise, although only succeeding halfway. The sound that came out of his mouth reminded him of a young elephant; fortunately he managed to mostly muffle it with his hands, so no one suffered. 

“Hello, Antigone.”

“Good evening, Chapman.” Antigone sounded tired, but then again – it was unfortunately her usual state. 

“Haven’t realised I left my door open.”

“You haven’t.”

Eric pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, but stayed silent otherwise. Dealing with two Funn siblings was a challenge even when he was fully rested. Antigone’s face was blank and her intentions unclear, which created a whole new set of problems for Chapman. He cleared his throat.

“Did you like the Festival, Antigone?” 

“Not particularly, no.”

“Too much, ach, people?”

Antigone didn’t respond, but knowing her it was a main reason. Eric was wondering why she even bothered joining the festivities in the first place.

“We need to talk” commanded Antigone in her usual shaky voice. “About my brother.”'

“Has something happened to Rudyard?” Eric’s eyes narrowed as he moved closer to Antigone. “He isn’t… sick, right?”

Antigone seemed taken aback by the question but quickly recovered. “Nothing of the sort.”

“Then what is it?”

Eric began to grow impatient with Antigone’s peculiar behaviour. Although it was unusual for her to reach out to him on her own. 

Rudyard’s twin licked her lips. Eric had a bad feeling about what was about to play out before him.

“I wouldn’t usually do this, Chapman” she started, taking a deep breath. “But it’s important.” She fiddled with the hem of her dress. “He… has changed. Because of you. Thanks to you.”

“Well, I-“

“You’ve also changed.” Their eyes met and the seriousness of her gaze made him shiver. “That’s good.”

“I-“

“Just. Take care of him, will you?”

Flustered, Eric wasn’t able to say anything. Instead, he hesitantly pulled his friend into a tight embrace. He could sense Antigone tense up and then relax into the hug. It was a pleasant experience, despite the smell of mortuary Antigone was giving out. 

The stayed like this for a short while, before Antigone finally freed herself from Eric’s grasp. They looked at each other and at once felt a deep understanding of each other’s intentions. She opened her mouth to add something but changed her mind almost immediately. 

“I will.”

“He likes you, Eric. Even if he doesn’t show it too often” she whispered before turning to the entrance. “Please, don’t hurt him.” As she stepped on the doorstep, she added a hushed “Thank you.” And disappeared in the shadows.

Eric stared at his door for a solid minute before bursting in mad laughter. “Well, haven’t expected that. Instead of finding out who I am apparently dating, I got a visit from Antigone Funn.” He fixed his hair using his hand and looked around. Rudyard was still in the bathroom, apparently. One look at the clock as well as his empty stomach told Chapman that it was almost time for late dinner. “Might as well cook something.”

After browsing through his favourite cooking books, Eric settled on a mix of leftover stew Rudyard liked so much and vegetables they bought the day before. He wouldn’t be necessary following the recipe but still preferred to leave the book open on the counter. 

As soon as the ingredients were ready, Eric’s mind began to wander. Analysing the past two weeks as he was before Antigone barged in, he came to a conclusion that every time he was with Rudyard everyone seemed to look at them differently. Like they didn’t like the fact that they were so close. 

On the other hand was the matter of a mysterious person Eric was supposedly in a relationship with, as well as an unexpected chat with Antigone. 

Everyone in Piffling Vale behaved like it was Rudyard who was his date mate. All the suspicion and not-so-subtle glances.

Eric laughed at the thought. As if he and Rudyard would ever become an item.

“Ridiculous” he muttered, stirring the stew and reaching for the phone to listen to many messages left by his clients and acquaintances.

After listening to the same message for the third time, Eric Chapman put down his phone and cooking book and stared at the boiling liquid in the small pot. A stew. A stew that he knew Rudyard loved. Eric would like to say that he used it because he was opposed to wasting food. But he couldn’t. The ugly truth was, he chose that dish just because it was Rudyard’s favourite. Because Eric knew for a fact that when his friend tastes the meal, his eyes will lit up and the Chapman will be rewarded with a beautiful smile. 

A smile that made Eric’s heart beat with anticipation.

“Oh.” Was the only thing he’s said before returning to his previous multitasking. 

Just then he heard a loud noise behind him and was surprised to see another Funn standing in the same exact place, merely ten minutes apart. It brought a large grin on Eric’s face.

“I thought I’d make us a dinner to apologise for my behaviour earlier…” he began, quickly realising that something was really wrong with Rudyard. His face was blank and he was hyperventilating. Eric’s smile faltered. “Rudyard, is everything alright? You seem pale-“

“Yes!” Rudyard’s voice was loud, but it was clear to Chapman that it was panic speaking for his friend. Then he started giggling. “I am well. Just-“ He stopped and something awfully resembling pain flashed in his eyes. “Have to go now. Sorry-!”

“Rudyard?” cried Eric, worry building in his stomach. 

His guest stopped for a minute at the doorstep, not ever sparing Chapman a glance.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” 

Only when the door slammed behind Rudyard did Eric let his shoulders drop. Still, he stayed put until the smell of burning vegetables filled the room. 

“Guess no one is eating you today, eh?” said Eric, watching the spoiled pieces of stew falling into the rubbish bin. His heart ached for a reason he wouldn’t let himself explore just yet. 

 

~~~~

 

Rudyard came back about two hours later, soaking wet and with an unreadable expression on his ever-so-revealing face. He wouldn’t let Eric take his clothes, insisting to remain in the hallway. Told Chapman he would only take a while. There was a newly found determination in his eyes that reminded Eric about how stubborn Rudyard could be if he set his mind on something. Not even death could stop Funn at those times.

Both men stared at each other, visibly distraught and uncertain; both waited for the other to speak up first, hoping it would end the excruciating silence.

In Rudyard’s mind everything seemed surprisingly simple. He would go back to Eric, confess and face the music – which meant accepting rejection. He was fine with that. He really was. After all, that’s what realists do; they predict the disappointing future so that neither party would be let down by their expectations. He just didn’t take into account one tiny detail. 

Not having your feeling reciprocated hurt. A lot.

Three words and it would all be over. Three words said to his worried friend who perhaps never suspected that Rudyard could ever feel like this towards anyone. Especially towards said friend. Who was standing awkwardly in his own hallway in his pyjamas and a bathrobe, desperately trying to understand Funn’s intentions. 

Rudyard cursed the robe in his mind for creating an awkward yet domestic atmosphere. 

Opposite him, Eric’s brain came up with ridiculous explanations as to why Rudyard suddenly left his house and then equally unexpectedly returned. No reason, however, was plausible, given Funn’s personality.

Eric felt an unpleasant sting of pain at the thought that Rudyard was probably hiding something from him. It was eased by the realisation that he wasn’t the person who would conceal information if it wasn’t detrimental to his well-being. 

“I apologise I left so abruptly.” Rudyard was the one to break the silence. It was peculiar, seeing him so determined, yet so vulnerable. “I had to… think about something. Alone.”

“I completely understand, Rudyard.” Eric put on a brave face and smiled encouragingly. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

Rudyard winced, expression hardening. 

“No, don’t do that.”

“Do… what, exactly?” Eric raised an eyebrow and looked his friend in the eyes just in time for Rudyard to grab his wrists. With furrowed eyebrows and heated stare, Funn resembled a god of war in their full glory. Chapman stopped himself from commenting on the behaviour, choosing to not to disturb the status quo.

“This” started Rudyard, slowly backing away and letting go of Eric’s wrists. “This fake smile. This game of pretend. I’m your bloody friend, Chapman!” He pressed a palm to Eric’s torso hard enough to leave a mark afterwards. “I know when you’re not being honest and I’m sick of seeing you like this.” 

It was Chapman’s turn to narrow his eyes. “It’s a double-edged sword, my friend” he snapped, pushing off Rudyard’s hand. “I know you’re hiding something, too.”

It was only for a moment, but Eric could swear he saw panic blossom on his friend’s face. It was almost immediately replaced by embarrassment. 

“I- I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“See? You’re blushing. And avoiding eye contact even more than usually.”

Rudyard bit his lip and studied wooden floor intently. Eric pursed his lips in disapproval. Until now he was sure Funn knew him well enough to realise he’d never reveal anyone’s secret.

“You know you can trust me.” He controlled his voice and made sure it didn’t show how hurt he was by Rudyard’s distrust. “As you said, we are friends.”

Funn’s eyes locked with Chapman’s.

“So why aren’t you honest with me?”

“Why are you withholding something from me?” retorted Eric with force.

Their voices were gradually raising, echoing in the spacious hallway.

“I don’t see how that’s relevant right now, Chapman.” Funn’s voice was strong and malicious, like it would be a few months before.

“Oh, it’s very relevant, Rudyard” mocked Eric, bringing his face closer.

“In what way is that related to the argument we are having?” huffed Rudyard, whose face was becoming steadily more and more maroon. “Afraid I’m plotting against you again?”

“Maybe so!” he snapped, immediately regretting his words when he saw hurt appear in the other man’s eyes. “Wait, Rudyard! I didn’t mean to.”

“Thought as much. You wouldn’t entrust me with a knife, would you?” 

“No, I-“

Rudyard crossed his arms on his chest and stared daringly at Eric. Chapman’s mouth went dry.

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“I should’ve known better than to believe you.” 

Those words hurt Eric much more than anything before. He felt anger flood his once more.

“I thought you trusted me!”

“Have ever gave me a reason to?”

“Is that why you run away, Rudyard? Because you suddenly had ‘trust issues’?!” 

“Why do you want to know why I left so badly?”

“Because I want you to know that I care about you, that’s all!”

It was at this time that Chapman noticed how hard his friend was panting or how shaky his speech was. Eric cursed himself for being so oblivious. He should’ve noticed before that Funn was almost having a panic attack because of him. 

It was too late, now.

“Because I realised love you, Eric!” yelled Rudyard, breathing rapidly. “I left because I knew you didn’t feel the same way.” After realising what just left his mouth, he began to back away; he hugged himself tightly and collapsed on the floor. “I didn’t want to be hurt. Again.”

Neither of them said anything.

Eric’s hand covered his half open mouth as his knees gave up under him. Suddenly, he remembered the way everyone in Piffling Vale treated them for quite some time. The way Lady Templar behaved, like he had some kind of secret partner. How Antigone asked him not to hurt her brother. He recalled every time his heart melted when Funn said or did something trivial. Eric remembered how his heart hurt for quite some time now every time he saw Rudyard. How he wouldn’t let himself think too much about why he craved Rudyard’s presence so much or why it felt so natural to talk to him. 

And then he burst into laughter.

Rudyard looked puzzled and furious at the same time, the expression which only increased the amount of Eric’s giggling.

“I see how it is” mumbled Funn, doing his best not to let his emotions show. “I should go.” 

He was in the middle of getting up when Eric came to his senses and caught Rudyard’s hand, stopping him dead in his tracks. 

“Wait” insisted Chapman, urging his friend to sit down. “I’ll explain.”

Rudyard cleared his throat before blurting “There goes my self-respect” and settling beside Eric on the floor. He chose a particularly dull fragment of the wall and inspected it with utter dedication.

“I don’t want you to feel humiliated, Rudyard” started Chapman, not able to stop a wide smile creeping it’s way to his lips.

“Too late for that, don’t you think.”

“Degrading you was never my intention. I admit, however, that I might have sounded cruel to you.”

Rudyard snorted and finally looked at his friend. His glassy eyes almost broke Eric’s heart as he smiled hesitantly and gently cupped Funn’s cheek.

“I laughed because-“ Chapman let his hand drop to the floor so that the prolonged touch wouldn’t scare Rudyard off. “I have loved you for quite some time, too, as it turns out.”

They stared at each other, letting the meaning of the statement settle between them. There were tears dropping from Rudyard’s eyes but neither of them payed them no mind. 

“And the whole village thinks we are dating already” added Eric to ease the tension. “Apparently we have been secretly dating for a while now.”

The strategy worked, as his friend (partner?) sniffed loudly and finally grinned like a cat, taking a deep breath. 

“Really, now? What a ridiculous idea.”

“You agree? Who would want to date you, Rudyard?” said Eric playfully, leaning in for a kiss.

“Honestly, those rumours are getting more and more bizarre” whispered Rudyard before closing the space between them.

Both men closed their eyes, letting their foreheads touch. They enjoyed a pleasant sensation it provided and relaxed into each other’s presence. It would be a long time before they moved from the cosy space on the hallway’s floor.

 

 

OMAKE

 

Eric opened one eye lazily.

“I had to throw out the stew because of you, you know.”

Rudyard groaned loudly. “Are we having this conversation now?”

“There is no time like now, as they say.”

“I take that back, I hate you” cried the other man letting his head drop to Eric’s shoulder with a loud thump.

“I love you too.”

“Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finished it! Yay!
> 
> Still not the way I've imagined it, but- 
> 
> Anyways, how did y'all like "The little things"? I realise that Rudyard and Eric seem at least a biiit OOC, oh well.
> 
> Big thanks to my awesome beta, [ kivutio ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kivutio/pseuds/kivutio)!
> 
>  
> 
> You can catch me on [tumblr](https://thusisart.tumblr.com/) or [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/krzeslicko_/), if you don't mind my art showing on your dash ;D

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy, I hope you enjoyed this part of the story! Next part will be out in about a week or whenever I actually manage to sit and write this monstrocity. 
> 
> As always, huge shout out to my lovely beta, kivutio (https://archiveofourown.org/users/kivutio) who read the whole thing and laughed out loud a few times in the process.
> 
> (Curious people may find me here: https://thusisart.tumblr.com/  
> I post my art there, and sometimes just sh*t posts)
> 
> Keep calm and enjoy yoursleves!


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